17 November, 2007

What Do YOU Think?

We can't choose our children's friends, I know. However, how do you approach things when your child tires of a friend?

A little background here: D. wants a Harry Potter-themed birthday party, and he's thought of tons of activities, etc. We talked about different ways to do the party, and have decided to go for a smaller group of invitees and having it here at home. He's limited to six guests so we can do more involved things. He didn't choose to invite one child who's among my favorite of all those he hangs out with. They seem to be irritating one another at school these days, and he hasn't invited him around in a while. I don't know exactly why I'm so bothered.

Yes, I do - when he does invite this boy around, they play SO well together, with focus and creativity. They can set up a train layout and go for hours. One on one, they get on so well, it's a shame it doesn't translate to school time. A lot of it stems from David and Friend being at very different levels in some subjects, I think. I worry that he's dismissive of Friend because "he's not as clever as I am" and doesn't see that although they may be on different math/literacy levels, they're probably the closest-matched when it comes to play. I think that's really short-sighted. But he is 8, after all. From my grown-up perspective, I hate to see him throw the friendship out with the academic bathwater, or whatever.

However, it's not my place to make my child's friends. It's not my place. It's not my place.

How would you feel? What would you do? Or not do? I'm really interested to know other people's opinions and ideas here.

I thought I might ask once, only once, if David wants Friend to come over for a play date this week. If yes, and it goes well, we'll ask him if he's changed his mind and wants to invite Friend to the party as well.

I have a week before we need to send out invitations...

Or should I just let it go, and send the invitations as he's decided already? I lean toward "Let it go" right now this minute. How about you all?


Dave said...

I think we should offer an invite, and see how it goes from there. At least we'll find out if he's really ready to call it quits with Friend.

Susie J. said...

(((hugs))) That's a tough situation, because it's SO. Darn. Easy. to try to convince them to do what we think is best for them. But they really are getting to the point where they need to be allowed the responsibility of choosing their own friends. I'd ask him once if he wants to invite Friend, and if he says no then drop it (at least for the time being).